The Good Life - Looking back and planning ahead

A view across the frozen estuary at Malahide

The second ice age that arrived during December brought with it exceptionally low temperatures with -15.7 being recorded in Dublin and lower readings elsewhere. The arctic weather finally receded by the 28^th with the arrival of more seasonal temperatures. The cold spells generated the coldest December on record according to the weather summary and statistics held by Met Eireann. I spent many days during December monitoring the rainfall radar trying to anticipate when the snow showers would arrive and how long they would last. The verdict on 2010 given by Met Eireann was that the weather experienced was “colder, drier and sunnier than normal”.

Malahide estuary appears to have escaped the ravages of winter. While the estuary was frozen over the bird population has been feasting and foraging successfully on the vast mudflats and grassland between Donabate and Malahide. There is nothing more pleasant than looking and listening to a large flock of geese flying over head. The marsh grass and mud flats are full of large healthy birds, fat shell duck and mallard waddling cautiously on the mud, alongside plovers, godwits, oystercatchers, redshanks and my personal favourite; the shy and elegant, but clumsy curlew.

 The first day of digging at the allotment on a dark and cold 20th February

  

It has been a great year in our new allotment and looking back it is clear it could not have been achieved without hard persistent work for the initial months. However, in the last month the soil, which was buried under a foot of ice and snow for most of December, is somewhat sodden and mucky clumps stick to my shoes as we traced our way along the pathways that divide the raised beds. The heavy damp air carries the scent of compost and decaying brassicas. There is very little left that can be used. The once impenetrable earth can now be excavated to raid our reserves of artichokes. In the nursery beds the lettuce has succumbed to the freezing conditions but the resilient small leaves of the mache cloak the surface of the bed. We managed to gather a small plate of mache and these hardy leaves will continue to grow during January, and into February and March. The only other visible sign of life are the buds forming on the bare branches of the blackcurrant bushes.

Earth works and stone extraction under way on the 14th March

There was some evidence of a system of raised beds by the 11th April 

Harry spent the months of October and November digging the raised beds and preparing them for the year ahead by digging manure into those beds. This should form a good basis for the strong and healthy growth of our vegetables and plants in the coming months. Corinne retreated to France just after Christmas to see her family over the holiday season and a shopping list followed her by; seeds of different varieties of vegetables including beans, pumpkins (muscade de provence) and tomatoes including a specific instruction to obtain some of the tomato seed which her grandmother used. For the culinary year ahead I would like to experiment with different varieties of pumpkin chutney, and tomato and chilli jams. The varieties of some of the vegetables we have been planting in the last year do not make the grade for flavour and it is important to address this matter now.

Corinne and Harry working in the allotment on a very sunny 26th June

We enjoyed the long warm summer evenings with the air full of the scent of sweet pea

All at home in the garden of eden on the 8th August

Upon her return Corinne produced a small packet of crosnes. These look like insect larvae or bush tucker which Crocodile Dundee might have grilled with a few prawns by a lake somewhere in the outback. In fact they are Chinese artichokes and a member of the mint family. Artichokes and mint grow in a very similar fashion; once introduced into a plot they are difficult to remove and control. I think we shall plant them in large buckets and see how they grow, and enjoy the harvest sometime in October.

In the coming weeks we shall be focusing on the available crops already in the ground; forcing the rhubarb to get an early growth and picking the young tips of the nettles to make nettle beer. Along with harvesting the nettles we also intend to hit the hedgerows searching for rose hips and berries. Along with the blackberries we managed to find a few red currant bushes last year, which supplemented some of our annual red currant jam production. The blackberry harvest was excellent as well, with many large juicy berries to be collected. If that harvest is repeated in the year ahead we might attempt to make some syrup along with our normal production of the rich fruit jellies. In particular I would like to try to make a rose hip syrup; these require a little patience to gather and a seasonal inspirational team talk might be required to bring together a successful harvest. A team is generally required for safety reasons because the largest and brightest of these red gems normally overhang the deepest of ditches.

 Corinne with a large birch bolet on the 28th August

Unfortunately this year there were no bullace plums to flavour a gin or dot a cobbler with. The few we did collect were added to enrich a bramble jelly. In complete contrast last year was the amazing growth of mushrooms in the forests nearby where we live. Some days we were nearly walking on a forest floor thick with mushrooms. There was no real search involved. They were just everywhere, which meant we could be quite strict about our collection selecting only the best examples for the pot. There is always a balance in nature and no doubt this year will be no different. However, by putting in a little extra work in at the right time and carefully planning the allotment's progress from seed to table, we can hopefully yield a better and more sustained harvest throughout the year.

 Roses thrown onto the the ice on Malahide estuary in late December

The Good Life - Harvest on the 9th October

Pumpkin, patisson, leeks, scallions, onions and carrots together with parsley, rosemary, lola rosa and gem lettuce and some bolets from the forest

Many of the beds have now been cleared and weeded. Harry is slaving away during the week acquiring manure and preparing the beds for next year's season. In other areas he has dug, composted and raked to perfection the new beds where onions have been sewn.

This year's crop is coming to its natural end. The cabbages, Brussels sprouts, Jerusalem artichokes and leeks are hardy enough to survive into the winter. However, as the night time temperatures drop this week to within two or three degrees of freezing point, guaranteeing a ground frost, our lettuce may not survive too much longer. Of the remaining salad leaves planted we are hopeful the mustard, rocket and mache will continue to make a contribution to our salad bowl.

The Good Life - The Gathering

 

Detail of fall gold raspberries, autumn bliss and wild strawberries

Autumn is in full flight. Our raspberry canes are laden with large ripe berries; the stems bend a little too easily under their weight in the cool wind. Elsewhere the fiery red rose hips shine like rubies, all but a few just out of reach suspended above a deep wet ditch. The hedgerows have not produced too many damsons or wild plums this year in comparison to last year and some trees have nearly no fruit. The fragile ripe elderberries have all but disappeared, driven from their web like stems by the wind in the last few days. Among the briers near the allotment the blackberries have plumped up and are bursting with flavour. In the last week we have been coming home with fingers heavily stained from the blackberry and raspberry collection, and have been picking thorns from our hands and clothing for the next few days; occupational hazards of sorts!

Jam and jelly making has almost become a daily routine. We have made blackberry jelly, hedgerow jelly and raspberry jam in recent days. The blackberry jelly is very easy to make and I believe it is far superior to blackberry jam. For every 500grams of fruit in a preserving pan I add about 150mils of water (give or take), and cook the berries until much of the juice is released. To complete the process the berries are pressed with the invaluable assistance of a potato masher. The juice and pulp should then be strained through a jelly bag or fine nylon sieve overnight. 

The next day weigh the juice and measure out an equal weight of sugar. Bring the juice to a simmer and add the sugar. Continue to stir until the sugar is dissolved and then boil rapidly until setting point is reached, then spoon into sterile jars and seal down. Some recipes recommend the use of a pound of sugar to a pint of juice, however I believe the set produced using an equal weight of juice to sugar produces a softer set. It is important to note that you should not start making a jelly with less than a kilo of fruit. The average yield of jelly from a ripe fruit or blackberry is just a little less than three 450gram jars.

In the last days of September, and early October, we have been out exploring the birch forests searching for mushrooms which have arrived following the passing of the full moon. In past years we had to examine the forest floor quite carefully and search through the undergrowth and briers to find the bolets. Last year there was a very disappointing mushroom season, but this year we have been practically falling over them. This abundance of mushrooms has changed our collection habits, and we now leave more mature examples which we would have picked in the past concentrating on picking the younger and firmer specimens. These young mushrooms are very good when added to risottos and omelets. They can also be fried in butter, salt and pepper, and frozen in portions for future use to avoid the obvious health dangers associated with gorging on wild mushroom risotto on a daily basis.

A large brown birch bolet in its natural surroundings with my No.10 opinel for scale

Corinne's bolet collection

Our biggest pumpkin matured earlier than expected sprouting legs and left the allotment of his own free will last week. We wish him well on his journey and hope he makes it through the Halloween period without coming to harm. Obviously we have increase security and issued instructions to the other inmates informing them that there is no little or no prospects for them in the current economic environment outside the allotment.

One of our other pumpkins was employed in an experiment/recipe which turned out quite well, and may be improved with further continual experimentation, tasting and testing. I decided to make a batch of creme caramels with pumpkin. The bases of 8 ramekin dishes were coated with a caramel made with 200 grams of sugar and 8 tablespoons of water. The caramel takes a little time to make and then cool in the dishes. At the same time you start the caramel steam about half a kilo of pumpkin, (skinned chopped and deseeded), for about 20 minutes. Leave the chunks of cooked pumpkin to cool for a few minutes and thereafter puree them in a food processor. The puree can then be blended with the custard mixture which is composed with 850mls of milk, 8 eggs, 4 tablespoons of sugar and two teaspoons of vanilla extract. Ladle the custard mixture into the caramel coated dishes and place them into a bain marie before cooking for about 50 minutes in the middle of an oven at 160F. The resulting flavour colour and texture of the caramels are quite surprising and very pleasant. Admittedly the flavour is quite subtle and future batches may have a little more pumpkin puree added to obtain a strong flavour and richer orange colour.

As the air temperatures drop the tomatoes have stopped their ripening process yielding a few kilos of green tomatoes. This is a glut with a Celtic tiger dimension for us because we are compelled to live within our Irish shoe box for a little while longer. The tomatoes may ripen indoors in time, but to avoid any waste a nearby unused orchard has been plundered for apples to be used in the production of a green tomato chutney. The kitchen area and dining table are quite cluttered at the moment, which calls upon my, ever decreasing, powers of diplomacy. Negotiations are proving difficult and lengthy at the minute because the French have no traditional use or desire for chutney. Quel dommage!

Nature's organic geometry - our fennel has gone to seed!

The Good Life - Harvest on the 5th September and hunting for forest fungi

The harvest this weekend was a real mixed bag as we rescued many veggies from the clutches of the voracious jaws of millions of slugs that have now arrived on site. These little guys are far from cute and are over motivated for my liking; the infestation is almost out of control. They are quite attached to the haricot beans and large courgettes have been reduced to an unrecognisable pulpy mass - It's time for the pellets!

A great example of a Leccinum Scabrum in its natural environment

I did a little mushroom hunting as well over the weekend finding a few prize examples of Leccinum Scabrum or brown birch bolet. I decided to explore a small patch where some young oak and hazel were growing and found a good quantity of Lepista Nuda or wood blewits. A good number of examples were spread all over the forest floor. All were at various stages of growth; the older examples curling their caps having spread their spores before retreating back to the forest floor, and the pale and violet caps of the younger lepista nuda bursting through the mossy forest floor.

Lepista Nuda cut and ready for the pot

GIn the same forest, probably more correct to describe it as a copse, I found a large quantity scleroderma verrucosum or scaly earth ball. These diminutive puffball mushrooms are not perfectly round but appear somewhat flattened, and are generally less than 4 cms in diameter with a small foot or stem. They are generally light ochre yellow brown in colouri with a scaly appearance to the surface of the mushroom. The younger fungi are solid with a black center; the older and slightly larger examples are soft and will burst easily releasing the spores. They are said to be toxic and should not be eaten or picked and mixed with other fungi that you intend to eat.

Scleroderma Verrucosum

Big Ben the Brown Birch Bolet - Day 27

I visited Big Ben today at his secret location but was not hopeful of his survival. Unfortunately, I was not wrong and found him in a sad state as he had been decomposing for about three days rejoining the rich birch forest floor from whence he came.

Next year there will be more bolets growing on the rich mossy floor where he stood, and hopefully we are still around to collect them. In doing so we might also identify when the season commences in Ireland or at the very least in our little birch forest.

There were no bolets to be found today and it is quite clear the season finished with a final fruiting flourish commencing about three weeks ago. We also noticed over the last two months that there were periods of strong growth and periods of very little growth. Is there a growth cycle? From what we have seen there clearly is.

We found that the big birch bolet or leccinum scabrum, and there appear to be a number of sub species in this family, grew to full size in about 24 days. However, the smaller or more fragile varieties like Bertie obviously have a shorter life span. This is quite amazing when you consider the very fast growth rate of other mushrooms and I have already referred to the dynamic growth of coprinus comatus or shaggy ink cap.

For now we have a small stock of dried mushrooms to flavour risottos and pastas or a richly flavoured scrambled egg.

Big Ben the Brown Birch Bolet - Day 20

Big Ben the brown birch bolet

Today was the day that I set out to complete 101 tasks, leaping and running from location to location in an attempt to complete everything on the list. I ran up to Big Ben's secret location just at sunset and was given 12 minutes by my chauffeur to return. Tired, ready and able I jogged into the forest and over the sodden ground to Big Ben where he lay unperturbed by the onset of winter. Again the last day or so has been mild with a few showers and the last few nights temperate mild conditions have pushed Big Ben to grow a little bit more. His measurements are now as follows: the cap is now 145mm in diameter and he is 105mm tall.

From the photograph you will note that some thuggish slugs have commenced their attacks and are doing battle on his stalk. They have arrived too late to arrest his development but they will play a part in his eventual demise and decomposition.

I am due to go to Amsterdam tomorrow for a few days and will miss Big Ben's later development but I will catch up with him once again upon my return on the 21st of November. I hope you will tune in for the further adventures of this giant of the forest floor later next week.

Big Ben the Brown Birch Bolet - Day 19

The rain has moved on and a brisk westerly wind is doing its best to dry the countryside. The sun has even managed to break through the diminishing cloud and the air temperature is already quite comfortable. I made my way up to Big Ben's secret location thinking the worst and believing his growth had stalled and ended. To my surprise he had grown again over the past 24 hours and he now measures as follows: the cap now measures 140mm in diameter and he is 105mm tall.

Big Ben the brown birch bolet - the familiar view

Big Ben the brown birch bolet - another view clearly showing the distinctive gills of the bolet

I mentioned yesterday that I found a number of shaggy ink caps and stated that they grew quite quickly in comparison to the bolet family. Below is photograph of the same mushroom and you will note it has achieved twice its own height in 24 hours.

Shaggy ink cap or coprinus comatus

Big Ben the Brown Birch Bolet - Day 18

There was a lot of rainfall overnight and this continued during the early morning resulting in a lot of water resting on the ground. Temperatures remain moderately mild and the barograph is currently recording 1017 millibars.

Big Ben the brown birch bolet

Once again I made my way to Big Ben's secret location in the woods and found him in good shape. His growth appears to be starting to falter and hence it is only a matter of days before a decline sets in. His measurements are as follows: the cap now measures 130mm in diameter and his height is somewhat reduced at 100mm (which may be due to the credit crunch and a problem with funding an accurate system of measurement).

A young shaggy ink cap a.k.a. lawyer's wig or coprinus comatus

Elsewhere on my travels I came across a number of young shaggy ink cap or coprinus comatus growing quite often in open grass areas not far from woodland. They are quick growers and the few I spotted this morning were not readily visible yesterday. These mushrooms are described as being edible and quite versatile.

Big Ben the Brown Birch Bolet - Day 17

Due to a number of commitments I had an earlier appointment with Big Ben this morning. A few showers had not been unkind to him and the weather remains pleasant, if not a little cool.

Big Ben the brown birch bolet

In the last 20 hours there has only been moderate growth and Big Ben's measurements are as follows: the cap now measures 128mm in diameter and he is 108mm tall.

Big Ben the Brown Birch Bolet - Day 16

I arrived at Big Ben's secret location at about 1:30p.m. Many of the leaves on the birch trees have now gone and have settled on the forest floor. Much of the undergrowth has also withered and Ben's shelter is much reduced. The day so far has been mild and sunny and the air temperature bodes wells for a good continued growth period. The ground is no longer as sodden as it was and this may preserve what few bolets are left in the woods.

Big Ben the brown birch bolet

Today Big Ben measured as follows: the cap was 125mm in diameter and he was 105mm tall. The height appears to have stabilised but the cap continues to grow and it may be a few days before the cap curls and eventually withers and dies.

The weather outlook is not great with showers and wind forecasted for the coming days. Driving rain with very little shelter may hamper Big Ben's growth over the next few days but hopefully I will be able to report further on his progress. Do not miss the final days of Big Ben and the end of the brown birch bolet season.

Big Ben the Brown Birch Bolet - Day 15

I first discovered Big Ben as a plump fruiting bolet forcing his way through his rich tuft of moss 15 days ago. He showed great promise then, and to date this bolet has not disappointed. The recent weather has been a little challenging but he appears to be taking the conditions in his stride.

Big Ben the brown birch bolet

The mild weather over the last 24 hours has not stopped Big Ben's growth. His cap now measures 120mm in diameter and he is 105mm tall. At the current rate of progress he is on target for achieving a good size and hopefully the weather will continue to play its part sustaining growth.

Big Ben the Brown Birch Bolet

Saturday started out quite nice but a lot of rain fell in the afternoon resulting in some flooding. Consequently this morning the ground was sodden and the forest floor was very wet, however it was bright and sunny. From the number of bolet mushrooms about it would appear that the season may be finally drawing to an end. I must admit that I find it most unusual to be finding them growing this late in the year, and the lack of heavy frosts to date is a possible reason for the extension of their season.

Big Ben the brown birch bolet

After yesterday's rainfall there was a lot of leaves on the ground, and it was quite difficult to spot the mushrooms. Big Ben was no exception despite the fact I was familiar with his location. The mushroom's soft brown colouring is easily camouflaged among the fallen autumn leaves.

Big Ben had done well since I saw him last and measured as follows: the cap now measures 115mm in diameter and he was 105mm tall. For now the cap and stalk remain in good condition but it was quite cold and windy today, and there is now increasingly less protection for Big Ben from the elements. The wet ground may also bring about his demise, because a number of mushrooms I found today were quite spongy and starting to decompose due to the heavy rainfall and sodden ground. It will be interesting to examine Big Ben's progress over the coming days to see if he does develop into a giant of the birch forest.

Bertie the Brown Birch Bolet - Final diary entry No.9

I finally returned from my 6 day trek and have been advised that the weather conditions were excellent in Ireland while I was away. The rain and wind however followed me to Sardinia and to the Balearic islands.

There was a good growth period for the mushrooms in the forest and Corinne collected 2.5 kilos of mushrooms; some ended up in the pot and others were strung up and dried. I never expected the bolets to continue growing into November and we are now experimenting with drying them for the winter stores.

Following sensitive negotiations and after being sworn to secrecy, Corinne agreed to take a few measurements and kept a close eye on the mushrooms in the forest while I was away. It was great to get a text, while windswept at a safe anchorage at Mahon in Menorca, informing me that all was well and Bertie was still alive.

Early this morning I ventured into the forest and discovered the soft decomposing cap of Bertie lying beside his stalk and a number of villainous slugs. I was immediately drawn to the brevity of life and the thoughts of Marcus Aurelius:
"There are three things of which you are made; body, breath and mind. Of these, the first two are yours in so far as it is your duty to assume their stewardship; but the third alone is yours absolutely."

Bertie had departed this world in my absence, being swallowed up into the impenetrable darkness, however Corinne had taken the important measurements and recorded the cap on the 1st and 2nd of November as measuring 50mm. Bertie the brown birch bolet did not grow any further as his cap measured the same diameter this morning and I paused momentarily for reflection at his side.

Not long after, I ventured over to Big Ben who was thriving. I am relieved to report that he has transformed into a giant since I had last seen him. Corinne had recorded his measurements as follows: on the 1st November his cap was 34mm in diameter and he was 60mm high, and on the 2nd November his cap measured 35mm in diameter. The weather had been good during this period with temperatures ranging between 3 and 17 degrees Celsius, and the barometer was rising steadily.

Big Ben the brown birch bolet

Today Big Ben's cap measured 90mm in diameter and he was standing 95mm tall, which has proven to be a fantastic period of growth over the last five days. The morning and afternoon were mild and the barometer has fallen over the last 36 hours to 995 millibars.

Tune in tomorrow to check up on the further developments of Big Ben the brown birch bolet.

Bertie the Brown Birch Bolet - Diary entry No.8

Bertie the brown birch bolet

There are three essentials for life; light, warmth and moisture. To date Bertie and his friends have have an abundance of all three, however as every day passes Winter approaches, and with it the end of the fruiting of the bolet mushrooms.

It was a cold night and morning for the inhabitants of the forest. I arrived at Bertie's secret location just before 9a.m. and the air temperature was 4 degrees Celsius. Despite the cloud cover there was a bite to the air and some ice had formed on the ground. The maximum and minimum air temperature values for the last 24 hours were 10.2 and 0.8 degrees Celsius. The barograph also dropped steadily through the night and is currently at 1005 millibars.

Bertie did not exhibit too much growth over the last 24 hours and his measurements are as follows: the cap measures 48mm in diameter and he is 60mm tall. Big Ben is still growing but the temperature values must be having an effect at this stage. His measurements are as follows: the cap measures 33mm in diameter and he is 57mm tall.

Big Ben the brown birch bolet

Unfortunately, I must break off Bertie the brown birch bolet's diary because like Bertie I require the three essentials, light, warmth and moisture. I am en route to Sardinia, and thereafter to Mallorca, where I may catch up with some of Bertie's boletaceae cousins. There is currently a plan in place to coax Corinne into visiting Bertie and Big Ben at least once over the coming days, and if this can be achieved we may have a few more entries in Bertie's diary. I am also keen to recover the expensive research equipment from the birch forest!!

Bertie the Brown Birch Bolet - Diary entry No.7

I awoke this morning with some intrepidation because the temperatures dropped overnight and a frost was forecasted. As I paced my way along the grass lane approaching the birch forest there were patches of frost visible where the sun's warmth had not extended.

After a number of complicated inter company loans, which are currently being investigated by the financial regulator, this research has been advanced a modest sum for the purpose of placing state of the art, highly sensitive, digital equipment in the forest. This should enable me to record the maximum and minimum temperatures recorded over the last 24 hours.

Bertie the brown birch bolet

At Bertie's secret location there was no evidence of frost, and the state of the art equipment gave an air temperature of 4.1 degrees Celsius; it was approximately 8.40 a.m. and the daytime temperature should rise by the afternoon. The maximum and minimum temperatures recorded for the last 24 hours were 14.1 and 2.1 degrees Celsius. The barograph is stable at 1012 millibars and it would appear that the weather will only get colder as the high pressure strenghtens making its presence felt.

Bertie's stalk is not in good condition, and this fact along with the cooler temperatures, must be hampering growth. Bertie's cap now measures 47mm in diameter and he is approximately 62mm tall. Other similar medium size birch bolets are exhibiting signs of being sensitive to the frost and their caps are starting to become soft and soggy. Corinne has been speculating that Bertie is a product of the good times and as such has not got what it takes to make it through the current challenging times. Let us hope that she is not correct in this view and that he does not fade away at the first sign of a chill.

Not far away Big Ben the brown birch bolet is developing well. His cap measures 33mm in diameter and he is already 47mm high. He is clearly a different variety of birch bolet as he has a thick fleshy stalk and small deep dark brown cap covering it.

Big Ben the brown birch bolet

Bertie the Brown Birch Bolet - Diary entry No.6

Bertie the brown birch bolet

It was quite chilly this morning when we got to Bertie's secret location at about 11.30a.m. He was basking in the bright sunshine, but the air temperature was a crisp 11.7 degrees Celsius. I brought a thermometer and have left it in the forest in an attempt to check the temperature range during the day and night.

Bertie is still growing but not a great rate. I fear the damage to his stalk may have caused irreparable damage but I shall continue to monitor his progress. The measurements are as follows; the cap measures in 40mm diameter and he is about 62mm tall.

There was a great spurt of growth in the mushrooms of the various forests over the last day or so. We managed to fill two small boxes as we searched carefully along the forests edge, and a few meters inside the perimeter where the sunlight's influence can still be felt. Among the ferns and birch stumps I managed to find an absolute monster of a birch bolet with a cap measuring just over 150mm in diameter. I do not believe Bertie will achieve this size. He currently has a narrow stalk which I have observed on a number of medium size birch bolets. Some of these smaller varieties do not grow to a great size but develop a swollen convex cap with nutty brown colouring.

Corinne with Il Mostro the brown birch bolet

Not far from Bertie I have discovered "Big Ben", a birch bolet which is very young, but is already 30mm in diameter and just over 30mm tall. He is not disimilar in shape to a penny bun bolet at this stage. The fleshy stalk is quite broad and in excess of 25mm in diameter, even though Big Ben has only just worked his way through the mossy glade. The thich stalk and deep brown colouring of the stalk do suggest that he may belong to a variety of birch bolet that will grow to a significant size.

Big Ben the brown birch bolet

Bertie the Brown Birch Bolet - Diary entry No.5

Bertie the brown birch bolet

Sunday was a glorious day with bright blue skies and very few showers. The storms have moved on and the barograph has been steady at 1013 millibars. The clear skies and high pressure herald a cooler period ahead, and winter is visible in the opalescent sky this evening.

Bertie's location is no longer secret. I have breached protocols and Corrine is now enrolled on the "Bertie Protection Program" and has acted as my secretary noting the measurements I take. Unfortunately, she loves the wild mushroom risotto and her allegiance may be closer to the pot than the in depth important research being carried out.

We arrived at Bertie's secret location around 11 a.m. this morning and took the required measurements. Time was short because we had plans to go to the Virginia Pumpkin Festival. The good news is that Bertie keeps on growing despite the odd attack of the thuggish slugs. The stalk has been chewed up on a number of occasions but the cap is till in the relatively good shape. The measurements taken today demonstrate the good progress made thus far, and are as follows: the cap measures 37mm in diameter and he is 55mm tall.

The sunlight shone warmly on the birch forest floor, the bright golden and ochre yellow leaves, and the rich verdant moss. New mushrooms continue to grow and the forest is a wealth of life; pheasants and plump pigeons beat their wings heavily suddenly taking flight as we approached the edge of the forest.

Birch set against the blue sky

The forecast for the coming days is for cool daytime temperatures and it will be interesting to observe Bertie's growth during this period, although it must be said that the damage to the stalk is somewhat worrying.

Bertie the Brown Birch Bolet - Diary entry No.4

Bertie the brown birch bolet

The MET office a severe weather warning for today, and it certainly was windy. The rain also fell quite heavily for a period, but by late afternoon the situation was improving and will continue to improve overnight. The air temperature probably averaged out at 13 degrees Celsius and overall it was not a bad day for Bertie. The barograph did not fall below 1011 and has been rising since 1600 hrs.

Once again I braved the conditions early this morning, and after visiting a local orchard to inspect and collect some apples, I made my way to Bertie's secret location at about 9a.m. The weather was certainly not improving at this time and hence the light and conditions were very poor for photography. Unfortunately, the above photograph is the best I could manage.

Bertie continues to grow and now measures as follows: the cap is 32mm in diameter and he is now approximately 50mm tall. There appears to be no evidence of further attacks from slugs and hopefully this state of affairs lasts for a few days.

I inspected Gerry and Martin, and discovered that they were starting to become soft. With omelette on the menu for tomorrow morning, it seemed a shame to neglect them, and leave them to their fate. With very little encouragement, I carefully cut them just above the root and they have recently been brushed down and sliced carefully, fried in butter, and await the beaten eggs. Gerry's cap was 115mm in diameter and Martin's cap was 110mm in diameter. They were both approximately 135mm tall. May they both rest in peace.

Gerry the brown birch bolet in his prime

Bertie the Brown Birch Bolet - Diary entry No.3

Yesterday's bad weather came as quickly as it arrived and the barograph rose sharply yesterday evening to its current reading of 1018 millibars. The cloud cleared away during the night and the air temperature dropped. A crisp and bright dawn brought forth people wearing their winter overcoats, hats and gloves as they made their way to work.

Bertie the brown birch bolet

The weather remains unsettled, and another low pressure system is expected to pass to the north west of Ireland early tomorrow morning bringing very strong winds with it. I believe Bertie should survive this weather without too much difficulty, however next week sees the establishment of a large high pressure system off the west coast of Ireland. From Tuesday the weather may be sunny and bright but northerly winds could bring the first morning frosts, and effectively bring Bertie's budding career to a premature end.

I reached Bertie at his secret location at about 1300 hours. The sunlight was warm and pleasant in comparison to yesterday, and consequently the flash was not required to photograph Bertie. Over the past 22 hours Bertie has continued to grow and a good rate; the cap now measures 28mm in diameter and he is about 45mm tall. The condition of the cap is not as good as it was, because there is evidence of slugs feeding on the rim of the cap. They were not present during my measurement and examination, and hopefully they will not return.

For some unknown reason, I always believed that these mushrooms grew quite quickly. From the measurements taken to date it is becoming clear that a time lapse camera will not be necessary for this exciting research, and I should be able to monitor most of Bertie's life as he slowly develops into a king of the colourful birch forest floor.

Unfortunately, we have no data on Maurice today. Further announcements will be made as the facts become clear, and following a thorough investigation, which is currently underway, it is intended that a full report will be made available to the public.

As Bertie is developing at a slower rate than I expected, I have decided to introduce to the study a number of more mature bolet specimens. Gerry and Martin are almost fully developed and I found them about 60 meters from Bertie. Both Gerry and Martin have not had it easy and show signs of being attacked by slugs. They have done well to survive thus far and the flesh of both their caps remains firm. Gerry measures as follows: cap110mm in diameter and 135mm tall. Martin, the smaller of the two, and less than a meter from Gerry, measures as follows: cap 105mm in diameter and 115mm tall.

The firm flesh of the cap suggests that a bolet is still growing and alive. Once the flesh becomes soggy and soft, and the pores below the cap become dark and waterlogged. From this point on the bolet begins to decompose and eventually fades away into the forest floor from whence it came.

Gerry the brown birch bolet

Martin is less presentable than Gerry and will not qualify for any catwalk work in the near future. I believe he may be the weak link in this research project, and at the first sign of deterioration I shall ready him for the pot!

Bertie the Brown Birch Bolet - Diary entry No.2

It would have been nice to have a strict starting point for this experiment, however the bolets are not abundant and often quite difficult to find. I have often paced my way slowly through a forest oblivious and unaware of some quite large bolets, but for some reason as you work your way back you surprisingly find them close to your trail, and often wonder why you did not see them earlier. Their subtle colouring is part of the problem, and they readily blend into the leafy forest floor. Furthermore, it is often the case that once you find one you see a few more because your eyes become adjusted and in tune to the colouring.

Bertie the brown birch bolet

As predicted the barograph began its sharp decline with the arrival of the weather front from about 21.30 yesterday evening; it currently reads 1000 millibars. The thick cloudcover keeps temperatures quite mild. There has not been too much rain in the vicinity of the birch forest, and despite two hours of rain this afternoon the ground was not waterlogged. Hence, I believe growing conditions should remain quite good.

The strong south westerly wind could be a factor in Bertie's development as the southerly aspect of the forest is somewhat exposed to this wind direction, but as yet the wind has had no adverse effect. I reached Bertie today at about 1500, an hour long hike from where I live. He appears to be doing well and unharmed. He has grown a little; the cap now measures 22mm in diameter and he is about 40mm high.

Slugs are in the vicinity which could be a problem for Bertie; I discovered another birch bolet closeby, which had been eaten into and was not in a healthy state. I noted this afternoon that Bertie is not without friends. About two meters away I found his brother who is a little more developed; the cap measures 27mm in diameter, and he is about 50mm high. To avoid confusion I have named him "Maurice". Maurice may become important if Bertie is assassinated by the slugs, nameless thugs who appear to have annexed land to the south and in doing so have attacked another bolet.

For now Bertie survives. But for how long? Can he avoid being consumed by the slugs? Will Maurice be the ultimate survivor in these tense and pressurised times?

leccinum oxydabile

While making my way home, I had a short foray into another forest where I had found a few good specimens on previous occasions. This short diversion yielded results, and within a very short space of time I came across a young oxidised birch bolet or leccinum oxydabile. Unfortunately this guy and his friend had also come to the attention of the slugs!

Cross section of the leccinum oxydabile revealing the rich white flesh of the stalk and cap and subtle colouring of the pores beneath the cap.